One of the hardest things as a single parent is helping your child maintain a relationship with their other parent. It’s even harder when that parent is not doing their part.
I worked hard to make sure Hailey had a relationship with her father. I feel like I did more than my fair share, I would drop her off and pick her up on his weekends. He said since I was the one who wanted the divorce then if I wanted him to have Hailey for the weekend I could do the driving, so I did.
I invited him to everything that was important to Hailey, including Christmas, birthdays and other holidays at my home. I welcomed his girlfriends and later, his child. I tried to be as giving as I possibly could so that maybe he would get over his hard feelings. It worked, for a while.
Once Hailey was old enough to voice her opinion, he started resenting her. He stopped making her a priority and when she complained that he never spent any time with her, he just stopped.
Sadly, Hailey and her father don’t speak anymore. My daughter is strong willed and stubborn so if you get on her bad side it takes a while to get back in her good graces. But he is her father, she was a Daddy’s girl, all it would take is a little effort on his part.
Hailey is too old now for me to insist that she spend time with her father, or even talk to him. She doesn’t call because he doesn’t make an effort and he doesn’t call because he thinks she is a spoiled brat who only wants her way.
I wish things were different. I wanted Hailey to always have the love of both of her parents, to have a soft place to land. My ex husband has chosen not to be there for our daughter. It breaks my heart but there is no longer anything I can do about it.
They are adults now and I have to let them forge their own relationship. I just hope that in the future they will remember the times they walked hand in hand and realize that they still need each other.