If you’re a regular reader you’re aware of the big changes that have taken place in my marriage recently. What I haven’t shared yet is all the behind the scenes drama I’ve been enduring.
10 Secrets to Success and Inner Peace
I don’t really want to go into too much detail about it all. I’m trying to avoid thoughts that weaken me. (That’s a lesson I’ve been re-learning over the course of the past few weeks as I re-read Wayne Dyer’s book 10 Secrets to Success and Inner Peace.) In order to keep strong for my mom I have to keep myself strong both mentally and physically.
What I will say is that my husband has lost all respect for my sister, who has not made the situation with my mom any better. That puts a lot of pressure on me, because while I agree with his assessment of her actions, she is still my mom’s daughter too. For my mom’s sake, I’m trying to keep the peace and eliminate as much negativity and conflict as possible.
But I think I have to say a little something about it so you better understand part of where the friction between Wayne and I stems from. (Because even though he’s been wonderful about both welcoming my mom and accepting her and her situation, there is frustration on his part. Not with my mom or me so much as with my sister.)
The Problem in a Nutshell
My sister has showed neither my mom nor I any respect and has acted about as selfishly as any person could in this situation.
The biggest problem is she fully expected me to stay in Denver “indefinitely” to help with our mom, even though she lives there and I don’t. (This was before she realized Wayne was 100 percent behind bringing my mom here for us to take care of.)
My sister has to work to support herself because she’s not married. However, for some reason she thinks because I “just” write from home and Wayne is the main breadwinner in our household that my time and work are less important than hers. And that I have more time than she does.
She’s single, I’m not. She has no animals, I do. Yet, she was unwilling to change her lifestyle one iota to make what could prove our mom’s last days more comfortable and enjoyable as possible.
She also has a lot of anger issues and when she looses her temper (which is often) it’s a violent event. (Not physically, but verbally for sure.) Wayne has not appreciated the way she’s yelled at me or ordered me around, and he can’t believe I’m even still talking to her.
Between a Rock and a Hard Place
Part of me wants to scream back at her. (Which I did one day while I was there. Mostly just to let her know that I needed her to work with me to find a solution to helping with mom instead of expecting me to stay with her 24/7 and make no plans to return to my home.)
However, other than that I’ve been very laid back about it all. In part because I find a lot of guidance in not only Wayne Dyer’s book, but another I’m re-reading, Sarah Ban Breathnach’s Romancing the Ordinary. This is what Wayne’s struggling with. Not me reading the books, but because he feels I’m letting my sister “school” me.
It led to a huge blow up between us this weekend. One that left me feeling so lonely and lost I thought for sure our marriage was in grave jeopardy.
But then something happened. It was something I read in Wayne Dyer’s book first thing Sunday morning that triggered a change in my approach to Wayne, and which has seemed to trigger a change in him.
I’ll talk more about that in a continuation to this article.
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