Like many aspects of life (work, friends, church, etc.), it tends to be easier to focus on the challenges and the unpleasant things that are wrapped up in being a single parent than it is to celebrate some of the positives. And, it has been my experience that there are definitely positives. There are some things about being a single parent and heading a single parent family that I really and truly LIKE…
I like being able to focus on my kids when we are home—I don’t have the distraction of a spouse or partner to attend to and can focus on my kids’ days, needs, and conversations over dinner or Sunday brunch. I don’t feel a tug or pull as if I have to be the middle person, and can just relax and be Mom.
I also like the self-confidence and personal development that being a single parent has afforded me. I feel like I am a good role model for my kids as to how to be independent, self-supporting and bounce with life’s many changes and challenges. Since I am one of those single moms who does NOT get any child support or outside income, I have had to learn how to be entirely self-supporting and build a world around my role as an independent single mom. I like the person I have become because of it!
Finally, I also like knowing that I can pretty much do things my way in my house. While there are still plenty of negotiations that go on between my ex-husband and me in our shared role as co-parents, I basically get to set the rules, and decide how to react to things in my own household without having to debate with or acquiesce to someone else. Since my ex and I had very different approaches to parenting and seldom agreed, it is nice not to have those constant debates and battles over parenting issues. If we want to have popcorn and milkshakes for dinner or sleep out in the tent (okay, we don’t do that anymore but we DID), I don’t have to negotiate with another adult about whether these are reasonable things to do or not.
There ARE plenty of challenges that come with single-parenthood. But, there are some joys and delights as well. Given time to heal and adjust, a single parent family can be a healthy, pleasant family arrangement too!
See Also:
Single Parents Aren’t Perfect–At Least I’m Not and Behaving “As If” It is a Choice