Guess who didn’t win last week’s $590.5 million Powerball jackpot?
That’s right.
I also didn’t win the subsequent jackpot worth a mere $20 million despite there being a zillion fewer people buying tickets.
Because why play when the prize is only 20 million?
Clearly, I don’t subscribe to that line of thinking, but I highly encourage the rest of the world to do so, as I need all the help I can get to bolster my odds of winning.
I’m a working parent, after all.
A very not rich mom who will likely die without ever being able to afford professional line cutters.
That’s right; forget about those diamond-encrusted Christian Louboutin heels or the latest Mahina leather Louis Vuitton bag. If you are a wealthy mama in Manhattan you’re forking over cold hard cash so your kids don’t have to wait in long lines at Disney World.
According to the New York Post, several affluent parents have been paying disabled people to pose as family members so they can avoid mile-long lines at the House of Mouse.
One of the Richie Richardsons interviewed by the paper claimed that she hired an independent tour guide to escort her, her husband and their 1-year-old son and 5-year-old daughter through the park in a motorized scooter with a “handicap” sign on it. Those special wheels allowed them to utilize an auxiliary entrance at the front of each attraction and avoid standing with the poor slobs who couldn’t drop a slew of dough to employ the special needs trick.
According to the paper, the “black-market Disney guides” run $130 per hour, or $1,040 for an eight-hour day
Let’s see; if I had an extra $1,040 at my disposable would I consider hiring a shameless rogue tour guide to ensure my kids wouldn’t have to stand in line–even the one set aside for fast pass holders?
Uh… no.
Perhaps, those wealthy parents, who are now reportedly passing the guide’s phone number to other rich moms and dads, would be better off using their excess cash to purchase some integrity.