I heard a very young woman talking the other day about how she was working to “get her children back”–obviously the Department of Human Services had taken her children and she had attended parenting classes. Now, she was having supervised visits and her take on the experience was that she was being “evaluated” to see if she was fit to parent full time. It got me to think about myself as a single parenting–what I do well and what I do not; and I wondered how I would feel and how I would fair if I was being evaluated?
I have my good days…but I am definitely not perfect. I also think it is fairly common for us single parents to carry a bit of an inferiority complex around with us as well. Even if we work hard to shake it, it can be a bit challenging and we don’t really have a built-in way of balancing ourselves against another adult (or have someone to step in and pinch hit for us when we are not feeling our best.) Also, if we share custody with another parent or our child has visitation with another parent, it can sometimes feel as though we are being evaluated and compared by the other parent’s standard or living style. Still, I cannot imagine what it would feel like to have my parenting judged on such an intense and personal level!
I do not know how I would come out if I was being evaluated–whether by a social worker or a judge or some other power/entity that could decide if I was a decent parent or not. I don’t know how that might affect my overall confidence or entitlement as a parent–also issues that many single parents can wrestle with. I would like to think I’d pass with flying colors, but there are those days when I wouldn’t be so sure…
Also: The Joys and Challenges of Unique Experiences
Are There Attributes Unique to a Great Single Parent?