There are a variety of parenting styles to choose from. Most people pick the one that their own parents used, or they select a style that they feel best fits their family. “Lazy parenting” is an option.
It may sounds neglectful – or even dangerous – if you are unfamiliar with how it works. Oddly enough, so called “Lazy Parenting” may actually be more intensive, and difficult, than other parenting styles.
No one wants to be called “lazy”. The word has a very negative connotation! One might assume that “lazy parenting” is a style selected by slacker parents who don’t want to put much effort into raising their children. What you may not realize is that your parents may have used this parenting style when they raised you. Back then, it was probably just called “parenting.”
So, what is “lazy parenting”? Caroline Wagner wrote an excellent definition of it in an article on Motherly. She wrote:
“Lazy parenting is about intentionally providing your child with opportunities to develop a sense of self-efficacy, which will in turn bolster confidence, independence, and responsibility. It’s about mindfully stepping back to allow your child to struggle on their own for a minute rather than rushing in and rescuing. It’s about letting your child find out just how much they are capable of. And they are actually capable of a lot!”
Lazy parenting requires planning and self-control on the part of the parent. The planning part requires a parent to make the time to teach their child a life skill that he or she will need in order to become a functional adult. The self-control parts involves resisting the urge to rush in and fix the problem for your child, instead of letting them struggle, learn, and eventually prevail.
For example, let’s say you want your toddler to entertain herself for a short span of time while you read a book. A parent can sit on the couch and allow their toddler to play with toys that are on the floor. Let your toddler figure out to do. Redirect your child back to the toy options in the room as needed.
The parent is still watching the toddler, and keeping him or her out of danger. The child is perfectly safe, and gets to learn a new skill. The parent gets a few minutes to read a book and take a little break.
At first glance, this might look “lazy”. Look deeper, and you can see that so called “lazy parenting” has some similarities with what once was considered “regular parenting”.
Related Articles at Families.com:
* Holy Flow Parenting – A New Style
* Free Range Parenting – Letting Kids Roam Free