It’s always a good thing to have a vision or over-arching goal for our lives. When we have a child with a disability, that vision may become much clearer. For example, we probably never considered joining the cause to fight muscular dystrophy until we had a child with the condition. Or until we adopted a child who was abused, we may not have considered standing up for the rights of children. Having a child with a disability can make us more sensitive to the plights of others and bolster our resolve to make a difference. Whether we choose to advocate for a specific cause, or just gain the courage to face each day anew, having a mantra helps us stay focused.
A mantra is something that can both be “shouted from the rooftops” and whispered to ourselves in our darkest moments. It’s that personal motto, that axiom that helps give us meaning and purpose. It’s the slogan written across our hearts.
In the book “Changed by a Child” by Barbara Gill, the author tells of a woman who advocates for her special-needs adult daughter. This mother uses the mantra, “The sky is blue.” Whenever she needs to get help for her daughter or make a plea for services, “The sky is blue” reminds her of her quest. It stands for what she needs—and more importantly, what her daughter needs. It means, what you’re saying doesn’t change my reality. When people try to brush her off or state reasons why she can’t reach her goal, she repeats the mantra in her mind, “The sky is blue. The sky is blue. The sky is blue.”
A mantra can be replaced when it’s no longer needed. Yet a true mantra, in my opinion, doesn’t change multiple times in a week or more. It stays along for the ride, like an old friend.
One of my mantras has been, “You are your child’s greatest advocate.” It has helped remind me that I’ve got to step up when I see things happening in the lives of my children–perhaps with their education or medical needs–that I disagree with. If I don’t stand up for my kids, who else will? Yet my natural instinct is to avoid confrontation, to shrink away, to be pleasing and agreeable. Having a mantra helps me push past my weaker self and speak up.
So I ask you dear reader, what is your mantra? What is the catch-phrase that encapsulates your life’s vision? Can you repeat it to yourself? Does it give you courage to move forward when you might otherwise shrink back? Is it handy and available to retrieve at any time? And if you don’t have one yet, what might it be?
Kristyn Crow is the author of this blog. Visit her website by clicking here.
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