What type of mom are you? In her book, Queen Bees & Wannabees, author Rosalind Wiseman discusses several types of moms she’s met. See if you recognize yourself in any of these descriptions.
Queen Bee Moms are often the coaches and class presidents. They don’t simply like being in charge, they have to be in charge. A Queen Bee Mom will organize her child’s social activities, with no free time allowed. When other parents don’t like her, she will point out it’s because they are jealous of her. If she includes you and your child in an activity, you should feel special and honored for the privilege of being in her presence.
A Sidekick Mom generally falls right beneath the Queen Bee and defines herself by her peers. She will organize her child’s activities so that they take place at the same time as the Queen Bee’s. She will also force her child to become friends with the Queen Bee’s child. She loves to share information about her child’s accomplishments but she makes sure she does not overshadow what the Queen Bee’s child has done. Sidekick moms are also focused on making sure their kids get into the right classes and activities.
Starbuck and Sympathy Moms are moms who will comfort you when you’ve been wronged or had a confrontation with someone else. They will pretend to be on your side and then turn on you, often gossiping about the situation behind your back.
Torn Wannabees and Desperate Wannabees are moms who are backstabbers seeking to move up the social ladder by putting a knife in your back. They are the moms who will support you in private but then turn on you in public (or worse, say nothing).
Steamrolled Moms avoid conflict at all costs. She goes along with whatever it is her friends want to do, or whatever they say or believe. And she never wants to offend anyone. She’s the nice mom of the bunch and if she does say something that’s not nice, she will immediately apologize for what she’s said.
Floater Moms are like shape shifters, easily moving from one group to another without causing any resentment in any one group. They’re not considered a threat to anyone’s status or position and are generally liked by all.
Reformed Moms are moms who have realized the error of their ways and have made adjustments accordingly. They are former Queen Bees, Sidekicks and other types of moms who may still slip up from time to time and revert to their old behavior. The difference is if they slip and someone points it out, the Reformed Mom is able to admit that she has slipped, apologize and then move on.
The Invisible Mom is just what you might imagine. She’s the mom that attends functions but never says anything. The mom you’re not likely to notice, even though she’s standing right there in front of you.
Finally, the Outcast Moms are moms who stand out because of their differences from the rest of the pack. She may not live in the right neighborhood, attend the right church, might be gay, or liberal whenever one else is conservative.
See also:
Do You Have A Defiant Child? Check Your Parenting Style