We can get so caught up in the minutia of every day—those details of feeding, cleaning, discipline and communicating—that we forget to keep at least one eye on the long term. The choices we make today, and the way we parent and interact with our children right now will have a lasting influence on the type of relationship we have with them in the long term. While we really need to parent our children as they are today, it can be helpful to put some thought into what we would like our relationship with our child to look like 5, 10, or 20 years from now…
For example, while I did not want to my children’s “buddy” when they were younger, I do want to have a friendly, mutually respectful and healthy relationship when they are adults. I have learned that if I want healthy boundaries and mutual respect when they are older, there are things that I need to do now in order to lay the foundation. Of course it is impossible to know exactly how our parenting choices will manifest themselves down the line, just as it is impossible to predict exactly what sort of adults our children will grow into, but I do think we can think about how our parenting today will influence the future.
As single parents, we can really get short-sighted. I know that for myself, there was so much required of me just to get through an ordinary day that thinking about what things might be like between my kids and me a decade down the road was nearly impossible. But, if we do look at our parenting relationship as a life-long one, we can make choices and decisions that will build a strong relationship and not just get through the day.
Also: Teaching our Children Self-Respect
Walking the Tightrope of the Mother-Daughter Relationship