I’m attributing this title to Jade Walker, who gave me the idea from a PM she wrote to me about the Eliot Spitzer prostitution ring scandal.
I’m sure you’ve already thought of this…But what kind of woman stands by her man when he publicly acknowledges using the services of a high-priced call girl? What kind of woman stands by her man when he’s outed via extortion? What kind of woman stands by her man when an affair with an intern is revealed…to the world? And what kind of message does this send to other wives (and their daughters)? ~-Jade Walker-~
She’s right. I was thinking of this. And judging from the amount of angles the media is covering this story from, I’d say lots of people are also thinking along these lines.
One thing I found very interesting when I caught just a scant part of Dina Matos on Larry King last night was how she’s become a role model of sorts. A kind of expert in the field of standing by your man at the podium during the bomb dropping press conference. Again last night I heard her repeat a sentiment she shared with Matt Lauer during her Today interview, “I can’t speak for her, but I did it because…” or “I don’t know her heart, but I was feeling…”
The more I think on it, I see Matos as brave for speaking about her experience. She has to relive it every time she does. How hard that must be.
I couldn’t do it.
Or could I?
That’s another theme that’s been brought up: you can’t judge these women without having stood in their places, experienced their situations.
I don’t really want to, but I do want to give them the benefit of the doubt.
Right or wrong in our eyes, whatever their motivator for doing so, they made their decision to stand by their husbands during a time of public shame and stuck to it.
What does that teach us?
That love is not blind. Love is not always loyal, but love is what binds nonetheless. Love is not always clear, nor is it always easy. Love is thinking of the children involved, trying to keep a stiff upper lip, and being strong for them during times of adversity. Love is never letting them see you sweat. Love is never letting them get the best of you. Love is trying to be the better person, the bigger person. Love is not doing the obvious (like leaving a cheating husband standing there to pay the pipers by himself) but standing by him…and perhaps pinching him hard, long, and often behind that podium where the cameras can’t see.
Courtney Mroch writes about animals great and small in Pets and the harmony and strife that encompasses married life in Marriage. For a full listing of her articles click here.
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