What has divorce taught our children about love?
I worry about what my divorce has taught Hailey about love and marriage. Unfortunately, most of the people she knows have been divorced, at least once. What does this teach our kids? When I was growing up all of my friends parents were married, my grandparents, aunts and uncles, were all married, to their original spouses. The only divorced person I knew was my mother.
It’s the opposite for Hailey, she knows hardly anyone with an intact family. There are a few here and there but it seems they are the exception rather than the rule.
When I got divorced I tried to tell Hailey that divorce is never the easy answer. I tried to explain to her that marriage is hard work and sometimes people aren’t right for each other. How do you explain divorce to a child without presenting as an option for their future?
The truth is I thought her dad was the one. I thought I knew him well, I thought I took my time choosing a husband, I thought it would last forever. I don’t think anyone gets married thinking divorce is an option, we all have stars in our eyes and overlook obvious problems.
What does my divorce tell Hailey about love? Love is transitional? Love doesn’t really last forever? How do I teach her to make better choices?
When we fall in love we all overlook small things. For some of us those things turn out to be not so small after all and before we know it we are divorced, single parents.
I’m very sad that for this generation divorce is the norm. I certainly hope that it doesn’t become the easy answer, or because it’s so easy fewer people get married.
I want my daughter to know the joys of sharing a life with someone. To have someone hold her hand who knows her history because he shares it. I hope my generation hasn’t set a bad example for hers.