A married couple I know expecting their first baby, are going to prenatal classes. They came to the conclusion recently they obviously have a different view of marriage to some of the others in the group.
When asked what makes them feel better, several of the others in the class said yelling at their spouse. I don’t know about you, but I can’t see how that can make you feel better?
Now I’m not saying Mick and I don’t have our disagreements or don’t ever have raised voices, but we do try not to make a habit of it. It certainly doesn’t make either of us feel better. I fail to see how yelling at your spouse can make a person feel better.
The other thing that struck this married couple is the way the other couples talk to each other. Rather than being encouraging and loving, there are sarcastic and put each other down. There is no respect, courtesy or love shown between them. How can you build a good lasting marriage without any or indeed all of those requirements?
Attitude towards your partner and tone of voice are very important. If you are with someone who is always putting you down, making snide comments, showing disrespect for you by the way they behave, it can be very wearing. Put quite simply why would a spouse want to stay if they were treated this way?
It certainly doesn’t lead to a loving and supportive relationship which is what I see marriage as being all about.
Each of us, if we want a strong, lasting marriage, needs to work on showing love, respect and consideration for our spouse.
We need to learn to temper the tone and be careful about the words that come out of our mouths. Love is not a feeling but a verb or what we used to call in school ‘a doing word.’ Love is something that need to be practiced and demonstrated each day to your spouse.
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