No parent ever wants to even consider that his or her child has been abused. But with the number of abuse cases increasing every year it is important for parents to know what to do if they suspect or if their child tells them of abuse.
According to professionals who work with abused children, as a parent your initial response is extremely important in determining how well your child recovers from the abuse. Also it is important that you follow some specific guidelines, in order to make a case against the abuser.
- Stay calm. Do not overreact. You want your child to talk to you, if you react strongly they will most likely stop talking. This also might give them another reason to feel badly about themselves. Tell your child that you are glad that they told you and that you will help them.
- Do not ask leading questions. Let the professionals ask the pertinent questions, what, whom, and where. Defense attorneys can claim that the child was “led”, and can discredit information from the child.
- If the child tells you immediately after the abuse do not bathe, wash, or change your child’s clothes. There is evidence that the police will need.
- Let your child talk. Find a quiet place and let your child share their feelings. Don’t ask questions just listen.
- Understand your child might be confused. Up to 90% of abuse happens with an adult that the child knows and trusts. This can make it hard for the child because the negative feelings associated with the abuse conflict with the feelings of trust or love that the child has for the abuser.
- Believe your child. Rarely do children make up stories of sexual abuse. Reporting abuse is very difficult for a child. They have most likely been told that the abuse is their fault, or have been threatened by the abuser. Let your child know that the abuse is not
their fault, and you and the police will protect them. - Explain what you will do to help them. Report the abuse immediately to the local police and child protective services office, even if you only suspect it. Childhelp USA says when you call you need to, “be prepared to provide (if possible): the child’s name, age, address, gender, school attended, and the names of the parents.” Abuse must also be reported to the state. If you aren’t sure of the local reporting number, call the Childhelp USA® National Child Abuse Hotline, 1-800-4-A-CHILD® (1-800-422-4453) to obtain it.
For additional information about child abuse, call the Childhelp USA National Child Abuse Hotline, 1-800-4-A-CHILD. The hotline is staffed 24 hours a day by professionals who provide crisis intervention, information, literature and referrals to thousands of emergency, social service and support resources in the United States and Canada. Calls are anonymous and toll-free. State-of-the-art technology provides translators in approximately 140 languages.