Yesterday we looked at ways to try and rectify some of the warning signs that a marriage is in trouble. Here are suggestions for combating the remaining warning signs.
7. Find an activity you both enjoy and take up that hobby or sport together, it could be painting, tennis, gardening, bushwalking. It doesn’t matter what it is, so long as you can share it together.
8. Before you are tempted to criticize, stop and think how you’d feel is if the criticism was directed at you. Change it and say something positive about your spouse instead. If they are the one criticizing you, see if there is any validity to what they are saying. If there is not, gently let them know how much criticism hurts. Maybe by showing a more positive way of speaking to them, you will find their criticisms will lessen.
9. If they have suddenly shown a marked interest in their appearance it might mean something is going on and they want to look attractive for someone else. It might simply be a sign you need to spruce yourself up as well. Make yourself attractive and interesting for your spouse.
10. If you feel you are the only one putting any effort into the marriage and wonder if it is worth it, it may be that you have lost focus and are focusing only on yourself and what you are getting out of the marriage or not getting out of it. Try thinking about how to please your spouse and see if it doesn’t make a difference. You might need to seek professional help. If your spouse refuses to discuss any perceived problems, harping at them to talk is not going to help. Show them that you love them. Love often has a more positive effect than anything else. Above all as Mary Ann said don’t issue ultimatums.
11. Relax and don’t take everything as a slight against you. When we look for the negatives and the slights, we’re sure to find them. When we look for positives we will find them too. So look for the positives and adopt a positive attitude rather than a negative one.
12. Try to keep the lines of communication open. It doesn’t mater what you’re talking about as long as you are communicating. Mick isn’t a writer but I am still able to tell him about my writing because he’s interested in me and what I do. Just as he talks to me about gardening or things he’s doing that I know nothing about. Show interest in your spouse’s day and activities first and they’re more likely to want to hear about yours.
13. If you have lost a sense of joy, try and find things that make you feel joyful. Share them with your spouse. Keep a gratitude journal. When we start to think of good things about our lives, we are more likely to find them. Make a special date time with your spouse doing something you both enjoy.
We can always learn from each other. I’d like to hear things you found have worked in your marriage.
Related blogs
Warning Signs a Marriage is in Trouble
What to Do If Your Marriage Is in Trouble
Secrets of Long Lasting Marriages