We’ve talked about kids who get up early in the morning and started to talk over some of the reasons that children might be having a hard time getting to sleep at night. If your child is just a biological night owl, however, your task as a parent may not be to change them, but to figure out how to make family life more livable for everyone in your household. For those of us who get tired or need to get up and head off to school or work in the morning, staying up with an energetic night owl is not anyone’s idea of a lovely, relaxing evening.
The sooner we can get our night owls to manage themselves the better. If your late-nighter has a room to himself, he can learn how to amuse himself quietly and stay safe until he falls asleep. It is a bit tougher with someone who shares a room with a sibling. Since I have been the parent of a definite night owl (no, he hasn’t changed since he gave up his naps in his first year) for nearly two decades, I can share that I have found involving him in coming up with solutions and options has been more effective than trying to dictate what I wanted him to do. He has understood since he was a little guy that other people needed and wanted to sleep so we’ve come up with ways for him to amuse himself and satisfy his late night ways, while the rest of us get to rest!
You can still declare that there are some activities that are day activities and some for nights—can you get her into bed but she can read books or play quietly until sleep comes upon her? If she shares a room, is there a place she can go to do very mellow things—take a warm bath or shower, read or color, etc. What you want to watch out for is giving extra attention, snuggles, one-on-one time, etc. as a “reward” for those who don’t get to sleep. This could encourage a child to NOT adjust to a more reasonable sleep schedule and not learn self-management.
I would love to hear from other parents of night owls who have ideas and suggestions for coping and making room—I know what has worked for us, but I am certain there are plenty of other great ideas out there for how to keep one’s sanity, get some sleep, and live with a little night owl!