How much time do you spend with your family? Is it more than three minutes a day, one to one? Karen Kingsbury in the after word of her novel ‘Family’ which is part of the Firstborn series, claims ‘national statistics say that most parents spend only three minutes each day having one-on-one time with their kids.’ As I read that sentence I found it hard to believe, perhaps because family has always been important to me.
My husband and I made the decision early in our marriage that we would rather have a less spacious house in a less affluent suburb, second hand furniture and less expensive clothes if it meant I did not have to go out to work and leave our children in the care of others. We were happier to sacrifice things rather than time spent with family. It meant, at times, we struggled to meet mortgage repayments on our house. But God is faithful and somehow we always did.
To help make ends meet, I worked part-time or worked from home doing all manner of things, like delivering newspapers and junk mail while pushing a child in a pram or stroller, or stuffing envelopes etc, neither of which paid much. At one stage the whole family was involved in making pot scourers at home. It was tedious manual work but it provided some income coming in and it meant I could be at home for my family.
When our children grew older and were at school, I worked part time. During school holidays I had accommodating bosses who allowed me to take them to work with me and they enjoyed coming to work with Mom. Restricted income meant at times we went without things other families had. For many years we could not afford a car. That raised interesting situations. I remember one Christmas walking the large pine we had chosen home from the shopping centre, much to the amusement of a friend who saw a tree with three pairs of legs walking down the sidewalk of the suburb where we lived.
We probably wouldn’t have owned a color TV if my mother hadn’t bought it for us. We rarely had holidays away and our son was living away from home before we could afford a computer. Yet, if I had it all to do again, I would do exactly the same. Why? Because I valued the time I had with my children as they grew up.
Some parents groaned come school holiday time. I loved it. It meant time to spend together playing games of Scrabble, Monopoly and Upwords. It meant times talking, laughing together and times sharing around God’s Word.
In a recent survey, my daughter was asked whether she felt close to her parents and whether we spent together often as a family. That she was able to answer ‘yes’ and see it as important, is one of the best legacies my husband and I can leave our now adult offspring. And as I watch my son and his wife reading to and playing and teaching their children, I see they also value time together as a family. So that legacy will be passed on to another generation.
What about your family? Don’t your children deserve more than three minutes each day on a one to one basis? After all our family is our closest and in some ways our primary mission field.
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