Yesterday I told you of the discussion four of us had about what we would not forgive or would struggle to forgive. The other thing both of us the women in the group mentioned was domestic violence. I’d find it hard to live with a man who took out his frustration and anger on me in violent ways. You’d always be walking on eggshells wondering what next would set him off. I say he, because although abuse of husband by wives does happen, it is less common.
With domestic violence there is often a pattern where the violent act is often followed by remorse, and promises never to do it again. Until the next time that is, when the cycle is repeated. Not only does it have an effect on the marriage relationship but on the children as well. Families can grow up with a lot of emotional baggage and unresolved problems and attitudes as a result of witnessing domestic violence.
Along with domestic violence, I included in that category, those who abuse children, whether that is sexual abuse or other forms of physical abuse. While it is not something I’ve ever come across personally, I know of others who have undergone this in their lives and seen the scars it leaves.
When I think about it rationally I could never have imagined and still after all these years of marriage, can’t imagine facing any of those problems with my husband. The other younger couple agreed. Now, you could say we’re naïve. Or maybe it’s that in each case, as well as love we have a good understanding of the person we’re married to and put a lot of thought into choosing our partner wisely. We also put a lot of work into our marriages to keep them functioning well.
I’d be interested to hear your thoughts. Would you agree with these issues? Or is there something else you not forgive or find hard to forgive?
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