I read an article in the January/February issue of BARK magazine that had me in tears. It was called Beyond Words: the light and the dark side of a relationship without speech. The article talked about a woman who said she would give a million dollars to be able to talk to her dog — and have the dog understand.
The author of the article suggests sitting down and making a list of the things you would say to your pets, starting (probably) with “I love you.”
That would certainly top my list. Moose, Lally: I love you both very much. Even when you do things that make me crazy — like barking at the landscapers or waking me up in the middle of the night or fighting at the window. I worry that you’re not happy here in Oregon. I worry that you wish we’d stayed in New Jersey with your big, fenced backyard. I watch you sleeping, and wait for you to take a breath, and remember the horrible feeling of finding Miko that morning that he didn’t wake up.
You dogs are the only thing that gets me out of bed on days when my depression is especially bad. You keep me going when I’m tired or just feeling lazy.
Moose, I’m sorry I let you get hit by a car. I should have gotten you a harness sooner. I should have trained you better so you didn’t run off. I’m not the perfect pet owner, but I wish I was.
Lally, I suspect you’d be happier without your big, goofy brother. I’m sorry you’re not the only dog in the family, and I’m sorry that Moose tends to get more attention because he’s more demanding. (And more accident prone.)
But that’s the problem with these inter-species relationships. They don’t understand what I want to tell them, and I don’t know how they really feel. Maybe Lally secretly loves her annoying brother. Maybe Moose doesn’t even remember the car accident after all this time.
The author of the article suggests letting your behavior make up for the lack of actual words. Be mindful in your time with your pets — don’t just absently rub them while you watch TV. Direct your love and energy towards your pets. Be patient, loving, and gentle. Use positive reinforcement.
Sometimes, actions have to speak louder than words… when you don’t have any words to use.