In my early years of parenthood (nearly twenty years ago now) the big buzz word was “quality time”—instead of worrying about spending every waking minute with our children, we parents were encouraged to think about the quality of the time we spent with our kids. Quality was supposed to trump quantity. But, it seems that discussion has fallen out of favor, or at least fallen out of the public eye…
You probably won’t be surprised to discover that I actually think that both quality and quantity are important. Now that I have lived through many years of parenting trenches, I can see that sometimes just being available and “hanging out” is darn good parenting. But, I also think that putting the effort into really connecting and being available and attentive is important too. When I chat with my older teenagers and we look back over the years—they remember some really cool “quality time” that we spent together, but they are just as likely to feel some appreciation for the fact that I was as available and present as I could be—working from home whenever possible, helping with their classes and sports teams, including them on grocery trips, etc. Some of that boring, mundane stuff of family life has value too.
So, like most things, I think there is something to be said for balance. Perhaps “quality time” fell out of favor because it sounded too regimented; it sounded like an excuse or a justification for busy working parents. I’ve definitely been a busy working single parent, but I’m into the quantity parenting time too. After all, before you know it, those years are GONE and even if you have a few, fond, quality memories—I think I’d rather have a bunch of quality and ordinary memories to carry with me!
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