When you got divorced did you keep your married name? This can be a tough decision for many women when they are going through a divorce. It was one of the things I really stressed about those first couple of weeks. On the one hand, I really didn’t want any extra ties to my ex husband than I already had, but at the same time, I couldn’t imagine having a different last name than my son. Logically I knew that didn’t make him any less mine, but it still really bothered me, so I kept the name.
Growing up my siblings and I had a different last name than our mother. At times it was really difficult on us. We often felt ostracized because we weren’t a part of the “Hanson Family,” we were Christensen’s. It may sound silly, but there were times we really felt as if we didn’t fit in because we had a different last name. It was one of the many unforeseen challenges of blending a family. It bothered me enough, that when I was 18 years old I asked my mother’s new husband, the man I considered my real father, to adopt me. There were many other reasons that played into that decision, but somehow it made me feel more a part of the family.
I still worry about what will happen if I ever decide to remarry. It is still hard for me to fathom having a different last name than my child. I don’t ever want him to feel like he is less of my son because our last name isn’t the same. I don’t ever want him to go through those feelings that I went through as a child. It certainly isn’t something I ever dreamed of for him, but in the end my love for him will always be the same, even if our name isn’t.