That’s what I wanted to know after writing about pet horoscopes. It was fun to see which stars my pets’ dispositions might fall under since I don’t know any of their exact birthdates, but what about a year ahead forecast? Was there such a beast?
The Elusive Year Ahead Forecast
I’ve found plenty for humans. Those are easy. But I haven’t come across any year ahead outlooks for pets. I thought I did when I found Petroscopes, but upon closer inspection their weekly and yearly horoscopes haven’t been updated since 2005. (But their general description of each Zodiac sign is still useful.)
I did come across monthly horoscopes at another site too. Or so I thought. The monthly horoscopes at Pet Horoscopes don’t seem so up-to-date either. And I think they’re based not on the pet’s sign but on the owner’s.
Dog Horoscopes
But the daily dog horoscopes at Astrology.com are current. And hysterical!
Let’s pretend Murph is a Taurus. Today he’s advised to keep priorities in mind and avoid temptations around the house.
“Take the garbage, for instance. Is eating scraps really what you want, or is being a good dog your goal?” ~-From January 4, 2008 Astrology.com Daily Taurus DogScope-~
That site also lets me look one day back or one day ahead. The horoscope for tomorrow if Murph was actually a Pisces instead of a Taurus is even funnier. He’s advised to keep his opinions to himself when it comes to matters of educating other dogs, unless they’re puppies.
“Mind your own business, and don’t get sucked into the dramas of ignorant pooches.” ~-From January 5, 2008 Astrology.com Daily Pisces DogScope-~
Another cute one for weekly dog horoscopes, even though I don’t think it’s quite up-to-date either (but maybe only lagging a month behind compared to months or years like the others) is the “Original” Dog Horoscopes.
You pick from one of the Staff Canine Seers to get the weekly reading. There are 10 of them: Bowser, Mein Weiner Schnitzel, Madam FiFi, Sir Duke, Gypsy King, Lucky, Patches, Mrs. MacGregor, Scratches, Prince of Kings. (There’s also a link to Trainees, but they’re “currently not available for readings.”)
Cat Horoscopes
And what about our feline family members? Astrology.com seemed to be the source for daily “catscopes.”
That was the best I came across. Everything else was either just a general description of the Zodiac sign or out-of-date.
However, I got to wondering about cat horoscopes. You know the whole “nine lives” thing? What if they use one? Are then they born again? Do they then get a new sign if that life starts in a different month from the one they were physically born?
Man, that could get confusing! Or give an astrologer a headache. Maybe that’s why it was so hard finding horoscopes for cats!
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