We’ve all probably heard this next scenario. Maybe we’ve even been part of a conversation like this. It starts with one person saying, ‘What’s wrong?’
‘Nothing,’ the other person replies.
But you both know that this not the truth.
What causes that ‘nothing’ answer, when it is obvious there is something wrong?
Sometimes it can be that we expect our spouse ought to know what the problem is without having to ask. Why should they? They are not mind readers. No matter how well we know someone or how close we are to them, there are going to be times when something they’ve said or done has hurt you and they’re unaware of it.
Another reason for the ‘nothing’ answer could be that it is not the right time to get into it. Either because you’re on your way out, at a party or function, or one of you is on your way to work and there’s not enough time to go into it. It might be that there are others around and it needs too be dealt in with in private.
Perhaps you are simply not ready to talk about it at that time. You might be angry and want to calm down and think more rationally about the situation and get it clear in your own mind first. If any of these are the case a better response, might be, ‘Thanks for noticing. There is something that we do need to talk about. Let’s make a time to do that.’
Once you make a time, then you need to make sure you stick to it and do discuss the issue and sort it out.
Sometimes it might be that there really isn’t anything you can point to as being wrong. You’re just in a bit of a blah mood. If this is the case it’s better to let your spouse know that rather than have them wondering what they have done.
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