You often hear meaning people say that some couples are too young to get married. There is a theory and some evidence to suggest that young marriages don’t work.
Yet years ago, many people were married much younger than they are today. Once 18 wasn’t considered young to get married. In fact you will find many of those who have been married fifty years or more would have been married around this age or certainly before 21. Do the math. You’d have to be married fairly young or live a long time to rack up that many years.
In the past, some married around 14, 15 and 16. Now, I don’t know about you, but I can’t think of too many 15 and 16 year olds these days that would be ready for marriage. Part of the difference is childhood as such didn’t exist for many people the way it does today. They were sent out to work early to earn their keep. My parents were 12 and 14 when they started work. Mick and I were 14 and 15 when we entered the workforce. So they tended to grow up much earlier.
Recently I heard of two couples where the girl was only 18 years old and just out of school when they married. That’s so young these days was my immediate reaction.
Mick and I were a young married couple. Do either of us ever feel we missed out on anything? No, we don’t. We’ve enjoyed all our married years. Would we have liked to have seen our children married as young as we were? No, we probably wouldn’t. So what changed?
These days young people are kept at school longer till around 18 in Australia and may have university afterwards, which makes it less realistic from a practical point of view for young marriages. That’s not to say it’s impossible but it does mean it is harder as they have less income coming in. Financial problems can be an added pressure on a marriage. Of course, the reverse is also true. We found out that sometimes it bonds you closer together. It really depends on the couple. If a baby comes along it can add more pressure and expense to a young couple.
Often a couple is not mature enough in their outlook and behavior to deal with the pressures of marriage, especially if they go into it expecting it to be all one long romance and aren’t prepared to work at the marriage. Of course this attitude isn’t just limited to young people. The other important factor is that either or both of the couple might feel somewhere down the track that they have missed out on so much and can feel resentful and trapped if they marry young. Like I said we didn’t, but others I know have and that’s a bad situation for any marriage to be in.
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