The first couple of years of marriage were somewhat confusing for my husband and I. I would plan elaborate meals to show my husband that I loved him, while he would have preferred to go out and rake leaves together. Sometimes I longed for him to be more romantic. Meanwhile he was in the kitchen washing dishes, thinking of himself as the king of romance. What was our problem? The problem was that we didn’t know each other’s love language.
After our first daughter was born, we took a child training class and it talked about the importance of the marriage within the family. We took a quiz that comes from Gary Chapman’s book, The Five Love Languages. I found out that my love language is quality time. My husband’s is acts of service.
This bit of information has made all the difference. Now I know that if I want to really woo my husband, washing his car or taking his ties to the dry cleaner is the way to go. He knows that planning a date night or taking time to sit and talk quietly is the way to my heart.
I encourage you to take this quiz. You may be surprised at what you learn about yourself and about your spouse.
I’d love to hear about any big surprises and stories about how you are learning to love unselfishly. Writing this blog is a good reminder to myself. I need go to gather up some dry cleaning!