A certain amount of moodiness is to be expected in some kids. While some might be moody and crabby youngsters, others hit that “isolation” phase when they get into the adolescent years. For a parent, it can be tough to know what is normal, what is personality, and when to worry that things are getting to be a little too much?
Some children really are naturally more nonverbal and not the most eager of communicators. Over the years, I believe that a parent does get to know his or her child’s personality and we just start “sensing” when things are taking a negative turn. BUT, some of these changes are completely normal and age-appropriate. In my little family, there just seemed to be a day when each child went into his or her room, shut the door, and became a teenager!
My advice is to continue to try to connect with your child, even if he is being isolating or noncommunicative. Keeps the lines of communication as open as you possibly can, and stay involved—if only on the fringes—of your child’s life, even though she might be sending messages that you are not welcome. Continue to ask him about his life, find opportunities to do things together, and keep the connection alive at all costs. If there is a big drastic change in behavior (an outgoing child starts to isolate, the moodiness is unpredictable and scary, etc.) then you really need to get professional help. I know that parents often think that a counselor or therapist will just tell them their child is “normal”—that’s fine. It is far better to seek help and be told that things will work themselves out, than to let a child slip into depression or anxiety. Plus, you will have made the connections and know how to find help when you or your child really does need it.
Also: When a Child Has Too Much Exaggerated or Inappropriate Fear
Ask Yourself–Is This Behavior Intentional?