I dare say one of the most painful things to experience as a mom is a child leaving the home. My son left last week for basic training with the Air Force in Texas, nearly a thousand miles from home.
Even taking the military out of the equation, the absence of a child is something you really can’t prepare for. You know it is going to happen, you plan for it to happen but then reality sets in and how you thought you would feel and handle it is so different.
It has been a struggle to try and get back into my normal routine and adjust to having just two children here at home. Fighting my way out of sadness has been a battle. But I know that this is part of life and every parent eventually has to deal with it.
In the midst of good moments, where I feel strong and able to cope, the smallest thing will remind me of that missing child. You notice there is less laundry and fewer dirty dishes.
I even went grocery shopping and a couple of times reached for an item that my son enjoys. Then the realization hit that since he was the only one who ate it, I no longer need to buy it.
But these are just the small ways in which I am reminded of his absence. Walking throughout the house, you feel the cloak of heaviness in the air, threatening to suffocate.
The dog notices he is gone, my other children comment on how strange it feels and my husband and I sometimes sit in silence, knowing what the other is thinking. It really is a painful experience.
So what I have to hold onto is that this is the reality of life…it will get better. I will soon be given the chance to enjoy my child in a brand new way. And I anticipate a great future in this new season of life.
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