In another blog I wrote about Wayne’s stalker and how I hadn’t believed he hadn’t done something to provoke the girl’s interest. I left off saying how I learned first hand that perhaps he had been innocent after all because of an incident that happened to me.
In my case, my stalker lived in the dorms across the street from mine. I was friends with boys who lived in the room next to his, and I met him through them. Just one time.
I can’t remember what function I was helping with. I was part of Hall Government so I was always doing something. But it must have been a inter-dorm function, likely a dance with that dorm across from ours.
I hadn’t done anything except be nice to that boy, something a lot of other people in the dorms weren’t. I don’t know what he took that to mean, but suddenly he was watching my every move –with binoculars.
Oh no, he didn’t leave me notes like Wayne’s girl. He’d call when he’d see me coming back from classes or coming in for the night. He’d ask how my day was (or evening), if I’d had fun, tell me how nice I looked, and wish me goodnight. (And always doing so using an icky nickname: “sweet princess.” Ugh!)
But the worst was the watching me. He’d watch to see when I’d leave for breakfast and then follow me to the cafeteria. He never spoke to me directly in public, only on the phone. No, out in the open he’d just sort of hover somewhere nearby.
Wayne’s girl did the same. Sort of watched from the shadows in public and did all of her communicating via notes.
Weird.
I don’t remember how Wayne got his girl to stop. He’s Mr. Non-Confrontational so he didn’t ask her to or explain about me, his girlfriend. One day the notes just stopped. He thinks she found another victim.
I was more proactive in getting mine to stop. I tried to be nice about saying, “Hey, I appreciate the attention but I’ve got a boyfriend.” It didn’t work. So the guys I knew who lived in the room next to him helped me out by having a friendly chat with him.
The worst part was these incidents happened only a couple years after the movie Fatal Attraction was released. That’s why I was sure Wayne had dated, slept with, or in some other way encouraged his girl’s interest.
I learned he hadn’t –but it took having a stalker of my own to understand that. Which I guess makes the moral of the story this: When a stalker intrudes on your relationship, it’s not necessarily your mate’s fault.
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