Think back to your own childhood…do you remember the constant starting and creating of “clubs”—secret clubs with passwords and charters and all sorts of membership requirements? Some of our childhood clubs are rather elaborate and others have a more “impromptu” feel. I remember the very old children’s program “The Little Rascals” where the young boys had very established meetings of the “He-Man Woman-Haters Club.” While this is considered pretty politically incorrect these days, it is still a great example of the age and developmentally-appropriate stage of “clubs.”
Somewhere around first or second grade, it seems, clubs become a big deal. I recall one of my own daughters and a handful of her friends in the first grade established what they called “The short-hair club”—it was a group of girls who all had short hair. Finding a way to belong and start defining themselves in relation to the “group” is a key developmental stage for school-age children. It is quite common for children this age to be constantly forming clubs and shifting alliances. A club can be formed for a day, week, or even a year or more.
The great thing about clubs is that they give children a chance to experience themselves in different social roles—a leader, a follower, an organizer, etc. In addition to learning cooperative play and how to work things out in a group context—children learn a great deal about themselves as unique individuals by their experience in a self-organized club. Parents do need to keep an eye on these relationships and this sort of play, however, to provide guidance in regards to whether the “club” is being exclusive or engaging in dangerous or inappropriate activities. And, often parents need to be available to help a child maneuver and sort through various feelings and personal tasks that can arise from the “club” stage. But, engaging in the forming of “clubs” and other groups is important socialization for the elementary-aged child.
See Also: Your Child’s First Clique
When Children Feel Like They Are The Only One