You have finally got your child potty-trained or moved her from a crib to a big bed all to herself. Things may be going along swimmingly and then something happens, and it is as if she had never progressed out of diapers or to sleeping independence. Regression is fairly common and it can happen for a variety of reasons. This does not make it any less frustrating or challenging, but it can help if you understand what is happening.
The arrival of a new baby, a move to a new house, a divorce, death, travel or any myriad life changes can influence a child’s regression. What might seem like an ordinary life event to you can be an overwhelming and disorienting change to a young child. Chances are that the more enormous and traumatic the event or circumstance, the more likely it is the child will regress in one way or another. Of course, it also depends on the temperament of the child. Some children are simply more resilient than others.
Regressing can come in sporadic patches—a child who has been potty-trained completely starts wetting the bed every couple nights, or it can be much more noticeable—a youngster who had completely given up a bottle refuses to drink from anything else. As a parent, it is tough to know whether to force them to “buck up” and stay with the program or indulge the regression in hopes it is short-lived.
Understanding that change and insecurity are often at the root of behavior regressions can help you to take things less personally and feel less like a failure as a parent. In Part Two of this topic, I will share some ways that a parent can support and encourage a child who is experiencing some behavior regression and how to keep things in perspective.