Throughout all the years of my marriage, arguing about the raising of our children has never been an issue. We have always been in agreement. We have the same values and standards.
I consider this to be a good thing, since the raising of the children is one of the more common areas that couples argue about. However…well, things have slightly changed now that they are teenagers. Suddenly it’s not so easy.
Raising teenagers is like walking a very fine line. Sometimes you really don’t know how to balance the scales. Some things you say yes to, other things you say no to and then there are a whole bunch of things that you just really don’t have a clue on what to do.
It is when we are in those moments that parenting as a couple becomes a real challenge. One of us is leaning one way and the other is leaning another way. Meanwhile, your teen is impatiently waiting for an answer.
What I am learning is that we have to be careful to not rush decisions. When we need to decide something about one of our teens, as a couple we need to take whatever time is necessary to do this.
I am also seeing the importance of hearing each other out, why we feel the way we do. It’s not a matter of being right or wrong, its how you feel. That can’t be dismissed.
Coming to an agreement, well that is something I am still trying to finagle through. But I do know this, its important to promise ahead of time that if one parent’s decision becomes the final answer and things don’t go right, there is no finger pointing or “I told you so.”
Never has our marriage been as tested as it seems to be recently. But we have nearly 18 years under our belt as parents. I have to trust that it counts for something.
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