I usually consider myself very organized and on top of things. The past several months have conspired to change that perception. It has been a rough year, there really is no other way to say it. My life and the lives of people around me have changed so much.
As a result I’m suffering from a little bit of depression. Today, after a nap, I realized that my home is completely out of control. The yard that I love so much is overgrown with weeds and almost dead. My sprinkler system is broken and in my current state of mind, I don’t care, I’ve let everything die. My roses and other flowers are leggy and bare, they need some love and attention.
Inside the house, while not dirty, is out of control. I have managed to keep the house presentable but it just looks messy. My crafts have migrated to the living room, and while they are neat, they don’t belong there and make the room look like a dumping ground.
The laundry is washed, but hasn’t made it out of the baskets in the basement. The carpet is dirty and the windows are practically opaque.
On top of not being motivated to do it, now it feels overwhelming. I need to get back on track, I need to become an active participant in my life again.
I’ve had good intentions several times, but after a few days, it’s back to the way things were. I’m going on vacation in a week and I need to get the house clean and the yard in order. It’s going to be a lot of work, but it needs to be done.
The first thing I have to do is move away from this computer. I’ve allowed it and the people who live in it entertain me for months. I have not participated in my life but I’ve enjoyed watching everyone else live theirs.
I think I need to paint something, that always seems to get me motivated. For right now, I’m just going to clean the bathroom so I can take a bath. Maybe tomorrow I’ll get something done.