Babies are almost always trying to give their toys to someone so that they can be given back. They develop their social skills through their interactions with their toys, their peers and their parents. So when do our children go from being so giving and loving and sharing to selfish? For us, it happened right around the age of 3.
Sometime between the ages of 2 and 3, children become incredibly self-centered and extremely possessive of what they define as theirs. This includes objects, people, pets and even programs on television. While they may have seemed natural at sharing before, they’ve lost all concept of it now and are starting to learn about it. You may be frustrated by this change in their disposition, but it’s a learning experience for us as well.
Understanding, Teaching & Learning
As parents, we’re constantly teaching and learning at the same time. We are learning about our children and what works with them. We are re-examining and understanding our own values as we try to impart them to our children and we’re learning more about all those things we’ve known, but now we look at them more closely and often with a more compassionate eye.
It’s important at this age that you communicate with your child about your expectations, even when they cannot comprehend all of it. You want to convey that when they are with friends or family, they have to let others play with their toys. If there is a particularly valuable toy that they do not want to share, then you help them put that toy away so that it does not become a bone of contention.
One of the rules we keep in our household we started at this young age – when our daughter or nephew gets a new toy, they are not required to share that one. They get to play with it first, they get to enjoy it first – but eventually they get to share it and show it off. We emphasize that showing off a toy is not just saying look what I have, but here see how fun this is! This worked for our daughter and helped increase her ability and inclination to share with other kids – now she likes to take her toys wherever she is going so that others can play with it too.
How do you teach your baby to share?
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