Many of us single parents feel as though we have seen our share of battles. Perhaps we had a tough divorce or separation, or we have had to do battle for custody, battle with our ex or other family members, or we feel as though we are constantly fighting at work or on other fronts. This overload of battles can make us feel as though we just do not have another fight left in us and can contribute to us avoiding speaking up or standing up for what we feel is going on, in order to avoid any more battles.
I think we can get tired, but I also think we can get intimidated. If you have been really burned and drug through some painful and difficult battles, it can be overwhelming to think of getting back into one. This fear does not excuse us from sticking up for what is best for our children and us, however. Even if we anticipate a battle, we have to speak up and do what is right—for safety and well-being. As the parent, and the steward, we are obligated to speak up and try to improve things—even if we know it will bring about some battles.
Fear is very real and many of us have learned to fear confrontation and battles as a surviving technique. As the grown-up, however, in our child’s life, we do need to make sure that we say what needs to be said and do what needs to be done. If you are afraid of speaking up not just because of a battle, but because you fear for your life or your safety (or your child’s) then you need to get help in order to do what is right. Contact legal authorities, a counselor or a therapist to help you to sort out what needs to be done and provide you with the protection and encouragement in order to do it.
Also: Facing the Fear of Being Alone
Is Lack of Trust Warrented–or is it Born of Fear?