Everybody is an expert, right? Especially when it comes to parenting (or work, housekeeping, dating, marriage, etc.)! Actually, I’m being a little over-the-top, here, but the reality is that as parents, we are sometimes in the position of feeling judged by family and friends. In my own situation now, my kids are no longer cute. In fact, they can be downright snarky, unpleasant, gangly, and rude. They are teenagers, for goodness sake. Of course, I also think they are amazing and fascinating and energizing and I am enjoying watching them struggle and evolve into individual adults. I do have some childless friends—or friends with much younger children who are not nearly as impressed with the emerging teenagers as I am…
I was born to be a parent. It is one of the few challenges in my life that I have never doubted and always known that I wanted and was meant to do. That does NOT mean that I have been flawless or that I have perfect, angelic kids. And, while I try to stay level-headed and somewhat objective (in other words, I GET that my kids are no longer cute and can be pains in the you-know-what), I still feel fiercely protective and proud of my troublemakers. It can be a personal challenge not to react to snide remarks and the judgments that come from friends and family who somehow think that they could do things better or if they had kids, they wouldn’t be anything like mine. (I’m sure they wouldn’t be anything like mine—but they’d have their own world of issues and individuality.)
I’ve noticed that in the past couple years, I’ve become very choosy and protective about whom I let into the inner circle of my family world. And, while I don’t hold it against a person when she lets a judgment or comment about kids, teenagers, or my parenting slip—they are less likely to be invited back or included in things when my kids are around. It’s a precarious thing and I do feel as though I am often on my guard for anti-kid comments. I think it is really easy to coo and fuss over a baby or toddler, but to appreciate the angst and turmoil of an adolescent or a teenager is something extra and special. And, my kids know when they are being judged or our family is being judged and we truly cherish those very few friends and family who can hang out and share in our tumultuous teenage and single mom world without passing judgment. After all, we are all only human and doing the very best we can…
See Also: Try Not to Pre-Judge Your Child’s Friends
What Can We Learn From Our Childless Friends–Part One
What Can We Learn From Our Childess Friends–Part Two