Have you ever tried to manipulate circumstances in your marriage, just to get your way? While it might provide temporary pleasure, the long-term consequences of this can be devastating to a marriage.
At one time or another, we have all probably tried to use manipulation on our spouse. The degree to which it was used and the outcome might vary, but for the most part these are the rare occurrences in a marriage.
However, some marriages can end up being built on manipulation. If you do this, I will do that. If you give me such and such, I will do so and so. That isn’t bargaining, as some might prefer to call it. It is outright manipulation.
If you don’t believe me, let’s dig a little deeper into the very word. According to Merriam-Webster dictionary one of the meanings is “to control or play upon by artful, unfair, or insidious means especially to one’s own advantage.”
So let’s consider a few things about this. The first is that many times it is based on control. Marriage should never be about controlling each other or circumstances.
The second is that the actions are unfair. No one should be treated with unfairness in their marriage. And finally, it is to the manipulator’s own advantage. In other words, the good of the spouse isn’t taken into consideration.
Maybe this has challenged you, as it has me. I don’t want my marriage to be based upon manipulation. So I will be more cautious about ways I may be doing this, even if it’s not outright planned.
In fact, sometimes it may be done as a joke. But it’s really no laughing matter. In the end you might end up getting your way but your spouse might feel used and poorly treated.
Do you struggle with manipulation when it comes to your marriage?
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