I live my life straddling several different “camps,” at least that seems to be how it appears to others. For me, I feel pretty comfortable right where I’m at: a long-time single parent who runs her own home business, works for herself much of the time and does some work projects for others too. While I have been a wife and I spent a couple unsettling years as a SAHM unwillingly, mostly I have worked while raising my family, and it has been years since I was NOT the sole support for my family and household. With both male and female friends, those who work and those who don’t, I hear all sorts of different issues and complaints and I cannot help but find myself feeling a bit defensive…
What I hear most often from my friends whose partners work more than they do is how frustrated they get with all that work. Often, they will complain about the lack of household income in the same breath they complain that they think their spouses “work too much.” To be honest, I’m probably not the best sounding board or the best judge—I work a lot. I probably work 60+ hours a week and while much of that is at home and has a lower impact on my three kids (since I have purposefully created a world where I will be more available), I definitely feel the constant pressure to produce and provide for my family in addition to meeting the caretaking and emotional needs.
We want and need financial independence and many of us start home businesses for that very reason. We are also trying to balance our family obligations and all of the other elements of our lives. While I definitely subscribe to the philosophy that family come first—feeding, clothing, educating and providing for my family is part of that and for me, that means work! There is a give and take and I have never known a person with a family (male or female) that didn’t feel the pull and pressure to both make more money for the family coffers and spend more time with family members.
See Also: A Single Parent on the Job–Part Two–Flexible Work Hours