At some point after the first baby is born, you will begin to think about having another baby. This varies from person to person. Some begin to feel that baby lust before the first one even starts walking. Others take several years to get to that point again. Sooner or later, most of us begin to think about having another baby.
If you have decided it’s time for another baby and your spouse feels the same way, you can start trying. Life doesn’t always go so smoothly. Often one person is ready for another baby and the other is not. This subject can cause resentment or even real marital discord.
The first step is to talk to your significant other. Find out why your spouse objects to the thought of a new baby. Sometimes women feel so tired from caring for the first baby that they can’t imagine starting over again just yet. Maybe you finally lost all the baby weight and aren’t eager to jump back into pregnancy. Maybe you are just getting to sleep through the night again.
Men share some of the same concerns and have a few of their own. Some men feel neglected by their wives after the birth of a baby. They may feel disconnected and fear losing her completely after the birth of another child. Other men feel the burden of providing for a family and may be worried they won’t be able to provide adequately for a larger family.
Whatever the issues, it’s important to get them out in the open. Set aside a time to talk calmly about your feelings and your spouse’s feelings. This can be very difficult in an emotionally charged situation like this, but it’s important to listen to each other. It’s possible that a solution can be found or a compromise reached.
Maybe you can agree to try in six months or a year. If either of you is not ready to commit to a specific date, maybe you can decide to talk again in six months. After a bit of time has passed, it may be easier to reach a compromise.
If you are unable to come to an agreement, consider a few sessions with a marriage counselor. Having children is a major life decision. If one person doesn’t feel his or her needs are being met, this can lead to resentment. Over time, this can lead to larger problems in the marriage. Whatever you do, this is a decision that must be made together. It may be tempting to just get pregnant, but this is not fair to you, your spouse, or your child.
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