I have found myself in a difficult situation. I have come to believe that my husband, whom I love dearly, is suffering from depression. He is expressing a lot of common symptoms. He has lost interest in doing things, to the extent that he will sit in front of the TV all day. He doesn’t have any desire to play with our children. He’s moody and sarcastic. He rarely has anything positive to say. He’s irritable. He has little to no patience. He will sneak away any chance he has and nap. He has no desire for sex.
Adding to the problem is our communication. He doesn’t open up and discuss his feelings. Ever. He won’t talk about things if they are bothering him and he would never admit to being sad. He would probably think that is a sign of weakness.
And he’s under a lot of stress right now. He’s currently in trade school and will graduate next week (Yea!) when he takes his CDL exam. Then he will be working on the road, away from me and the kids, which I’m sure worries him. He hates where I work and would like to see me stay at home, but financially we can’t afford that right now. All these things stress him out, but with the lack of communication mentioned above, we don’t ever discuss it.
If someone in this situation would come to me for advice, I would urge them to sit down and have a heart to heart with their spouse. Sit down with them when everyone is calm and express how they are feeling and their concerns. Here’s where my biggest problem lies. My husband does not believe in depression. He does not really believe in mental health issues at all. He does not believe in therapy or counseling. A few years back, our marriage was really struggling and I wanted to see a marriage counselor. He refused. Even to save our marriage, he refused. Basically said counseling is BS (as a side note, I’m a professional counselor).
So I don’t know what to do. I’m going to try and talk to him, as soon as I work up the nerve. It will be hard, but I pray that he will be receptive. Not for me, and not really even for our kids, who are suffering because of this too. But for him. It hurts me to see him like this. But I don’t think he’ll see it this way. He’s not unhappy, he’ll say, so he can’t be depressed. He won’t see the signs and therefore won’t be interested in fixing it. But, hopefully, I’m wrong. Hopefully, he’ll hear what I’m saying. And maybe, just maybe, he’ll see what I see.