There comes that inevitable day for every mother when the burden of daily self-sacrifice, lack of sleep and the constant barrage of needs and offenses finally takes its toll. A wave of guilt follows a perfectly normal and expected response to the hectic lifestyle of motherhood: I don’t feel like being a mom today. I’m sure there are days when an astronaut looks out of his spaceship and wishes he were back on earth. I’m sure the president sometimes wakes up in his White House bedroom and wishes he were back in Chicago. Every job, every privilege and every dream comes at a cost. For many of us, on most days the good outweighs the cost. For most of us, there are days when we feel the cost is too much. Questions begin to arise over whether we made the right choice: did I have a child too soon? Am I going to be able to do this the right way? Can I continue on like this for the next 18 years?
Take a break. When you begin to feel like this, do whatever you can to arrange for someone else to take care of your child for a day. Take that day and rest from everything. Don’t clean your house. Don’t catch up on work. Hang out with friends if you would like, or do something you enjoy. Do all of the things you wish you could do (for fun) but cannot when the children are present, like shop for a new outfit in peace or sit in your favorite coffee house for a few hours with a good book.
Later on, spend some time thinking about your child and their current abilities. Are you expecting too much of them? Are you expecting too much of yourself while you are caring for them? Unrealistic expectations for behavior and your to-do list at home can create a lot of unnecessary stress. Reevaluate your house rules and the way your manage your time.
Finally, take a step back and make a list of things you are thankful for. What are your children’s best qualities? Truly look into their eyes and appreciate how adorable they really are. Think about those precious moments when they were first born. Reflect on how badly you wanted them in your life before they arrived. Spend some time journaling about how much you love them. Spend some time showing them how much you love them. Think about all of the times they have made you laugh and brought you joy. Are your children healthy? Are they well adjusted? Embrace gratitude and allow it to soften your heart to motherhood once again. Relish in all of the blessings of having children. Forget about the past problems you have dealt with. Give yourself and your kids a clean slate. Today is a new day.
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