Not everyone who adopts retains the euphoric feeling that often comes after the news of being selected or matched. These feelings sometimes diminish even before meeting the child due to fear and anxiety of the unknown. Many of these fears subside upon meeting the child.
Honeymoon periods vary in each situation. Parents go through their own honeymoon phase as do their children sometimes. With my first son, the excitement lasted about 8 months until it really hit me that I was a mom and found myself caught up in everyday life. With my youngest son who was technically foster at the time, I was worried constantly. He was also having drug withdrawal symptoms that made it very difficult for us both to bond. The honeymoon period came later when he was almost a year old and we were told we would get to pursue adoption of him.
Not all parents feel the way they wish they did toward their children. This can be due to Post Adoption Depression Syndrome, also known as PADS. It can also be a result of the past wounds of the child that make it challenging for the child to return appropriate affection or behave respectfully and safely. It’s important to remember, no one who gives birth gets to choose what kind of child they’ll have. Children need their parents to be there unconditionally regardless of what genetics they carry.
There may be days when you want to give up. On those days, please find someone who will understand to talk with. If you don’t have anyone like that in your life, please visit an online support group or a support group in your community on adoption or special needs. You are not alone. Your child didn’t ask for the life the have. They need you to look beyond your feelings. Love is not just a feeling but an action.
Melissa is a Families.com Christian Blogger. Read her blogs at: http://members.families.com/mj7/blog