Timeouts are definitely the discipline technique of preference for the preschool set. This has become such a popular way to deal with just about everything and anything a child may do with questionable behavior. For many children and parents, the day comes when timeouts lose their effectiveness. You might assume that a timeout will not work on a thirteen-year-old, but you might be surprised to have a defiant four-year-old or elementary-age child who is balking at the timeout. What is a parent to do when a child refuses to participate in the trusty timeout?
I hate to break it to those of you, who have not experienced it yet, but there will come a day when you will send a child to the timeout chair and he will refuse to go. Or, you’ll plop the three-year-old into the chair and she will get up and run off laughing and taunting. What then?
There is no law that says that every child will sit quietly and compliantly in timeout. You may need to sit with the child and hold her—child facing forward, not in cuddle position. You can also consider “graduating” from a timeout chair to having the child spend time in his or her room or another space away from the action. I know many parents have some negative associations with sending a child to his or her room, but this really is just a more advanced version of the timeout.
Consider if you are over-using the timeout and you need to get some more sophisticated disciplinary tools in your toolbox. Consider logical consequences and other responses for an older child. Maybe it is better that he lose a privilege or need to do something active in order to make amends instead of just sitting in timeout. A child may realize that a timeout is inadequate long before the parent does.
Try not to lose your composure or your temper when confronted with a child refusing to “do” a timeout. I do not think you should give in and give up, however, just get more creative in your discipline. It is always good to stay a step ahead of our children, but when we can’t, we can catch up quickly and expand our repertoire!
Also: Is Your Method of Discipline Working?