Communication is at the heart of every home-based business. When you are working, you are communicating with clients, suppliers, and other types of people. Sometimes, our communications do not send the messages that we intend them to. Perhaps we don’t return a call or email promptly or that we send a poorly worded email or letter. Maybe the tone of voice that we used when speaking was not pleasant. Something happened that caused the recipient of the communication to perceive our message differently than we intended for them to perceive it.
When communications are misinterpreted, the person on the receiving end of the communication tends to create their own story of what they think you said. Your boss sent you an email and you have not replied for three days. She does not know that your internet service has been down for three days because you communicate exclusively by email and do not have each other’s phone numbers. She could create any one of a number of possible stories in her mind about why you have not returned the email. Some of them could come from a place of care and concern, while others could be negative such as thinking that you do not value your job. Fortunately you have established a pattern of responding to her emails promptly and doing great work. The story that she is likely to create until you are actually able to get back on line to email her back is probably something positive like that your internet is down and you’ll email back as soon as you get service again, or something concerning like that you may have been in an accident or you are ill.
We also create stories based on the messages that we receive from others. If we get an email from our boss or coworker that seems terse we may wonder what we did to upset them. We do not know what is going on in their mind when they are writing the email. Perhaps they just got a call from their child’s teacher and there is trouble at school, or they have a migraine and can barely stand to look at the computer. The stories that we create are likely to be based on our past interactions with our boss.
Whenever you feel that your message has been misunderstood or you are getting upset over a message that you received, there are things that you can do to bring the communication back to a positive place. The first thing is to ask whether you are dealing with the facts or the stories. Next, ask yourself what your goal is. What was it that you were trying to communicate to the other person or why the message that you received is upsetting you. If you are upset about a message that you received, try to think of an alternative story for the facts, a more positive one. Finally, decide what to do. This is extremely important if your message was misinterpreted. An apology and a sincere explanation of what you were trying to say as well as any insight into what went awry will help the person to feel better and understand your actual message. When communications are misunderstood, it is important to acknowledge the misunderstanding and get things back on track as soon as you can. Establishing good communication habits before an “oops” happens can go a long way towards decreasing the impact of any such misunderstanding.
Photo by jdurham on morguefile.com.