In this blog, the issue of whether or not you can afford to stay home with your baby was discussed. If after you have worked out your budget or tried living on just one salary for part of the pregnancy, and learned you really do need more than one pay check to make it, you may decide the best thing for your family is for you to work.
For a completely different scenario, maybe you figured out that you could, in theory, make it on one salary, but would have to live at the bare bones minimum in terms of extras. In this case, you may be in trouble if an unexpected illness or other disaster were to strike. This is another example of a circumstance where a couple may decide mom needs to work.
Maybe you could make it, but want to work. This does happen. Some women find great fulfillment from their careers and have no desire to walk away after the baby is born. Unfortunately, if you are in this category, you are most open to judgment and comments from others regarding your decision.
Some people in your life may tell you that it is selfish for you to work, or that your pay wouldn’t be worth it after child care or that daycare is the worst possible thing that could ever happen to your child. In general, none of these statements is true. Yet, you may hear them from family, friends, co workers or any stranger who thinks they have a right to their opinion regarding your family choices.
Even if you must work, people may judge. A common myth perpetrated in society is that all moms can stay home. They are just “living beyond their means.” If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard this one, I could retire right now. Forever.
OK, in the extreme, this may be true. You could go on welfare. You could move in with the in laws. You could go live in the projects. However, this is not the life many of us want for our children. In order to give them the things we want them to have, such as a safe place to live, decent schools, extracurricular activities and some savings for college, sometimes mom has to work. Sometimes she wants to work to give these things to her family and for her own self fulfillment.
Whether you have decided to work for dire financial need, for some of the extras in life or for you own personal satisfaction, the decision is solely for you and your partner to make. This is known as mommy guilt and it is alive and well in the new millennium. The negative opinions and comments from others can really have a negative effect and could potentially contribute to feelings of inadequacy or depression after the baby arrives, particularly in women prone to post partum depression.
Do not allow others to make you feel guilty or lead you to believe your child is in peril. Don’t waste precious energy worrying about these opinions. Do what is right for your family.
Related Articles:
Can You Afford to Stay Home with Baby?
Investigating Maternity Leave Options