Women were designed to feed their babies through breast milk. I am absolutely a believer in breast milk being the best food for your baby. However, sometimes it just doesn’t work out. For whatever reason, a mother can’t make enough milk and has to start giving her baby formula, either exclusively or by supplementation.
There are actually, very few mothers who physically are unable to make enough milk for their babies. However, as anyone who has breastfed will tell you, breastfeeding does need to be managed properly in order to maintain supply and this is where many mothers go awry and get themselves into a cycle that makes it difficult for them to produce enough milk.
If you had your heart set on breastfeeding your baby, and then discover that all is not going as planned, you probably felt devastated. Adding to the problem is the medical profession who either makes you feel horrid for not breastfeeding, or is way too quick to point you to the formula.
Understanding Mismanaged Medical Care for the Breastfeeding Mother
If you have a breastfeeding relationship to salvage, try seeking out a good lactation consultant. Most supply issues are due to mismanagement and not seeking help early enough. This is not your fault. In my opinion, it is the fault of the medical profession. It should be that if you’re in the hospital and your nipples are painful and cracked and bleeding, you should get to see a good lactation consultant right away. But I know at least here, that’s not the case. Many women don’t realize it’s not supposed to hurt until it’s already too painful to continue.
If it’s too late, you don’t need to beat yourself up. Painful nipples make it incredibly difficult to care for an infant who is further making your nipples more painful! You can still bond with your baby by holding him while your bottle feeding him, wearing him in a sling or pouch, and playing. You will still bond just fine if you mommy your baby in all those other important ways and do what comes instinctively!
Remember: You’re Not a Bad Mother
If you’ve read any of my blogs, you know that I am pro-breastfeeding. I’m about as pro-breastfeeding as they come. And yet, even I recognize that a mommy who bottle feeds is not a bad mommy. Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty if you gave up breastfeeding. I know lots of moms that wanted to breastfeed and felt horribly guilty when it wasn’t working out. But the reality is that being a mommy is a tough job. We all make the best judgment calls we can in a given situation. I’m sure if moms had nothing else to do but sit around and figure out how to make breastfeeding work more women would continue until their babies got it right. Unfortunately though, dinner doesn’t make itself, the laundry doesn’t do itself and if you have other children to add to the mix, they need care too. Trust in your instincts that you have made the best decision for your baby.
Breast milk is the best food for your baby. No doubt about it. But if you can’t breastfeed, if it’s not working out, you can rest assured that you are still doing the best job that you possibly can. Go forward from there and don’t dwell on what your body will or will not do.
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