I recently read a post to an article that Kori Rodley-Irons wrote titled “What if You Don’t Like Your Child’s Friend?” and I wanted to respond to it.
Katie-Anne wrote “I’d like to see an article that advises us moms on what to do when you want to go slap one of your kid’s classmates because they were mean to your child and he’s cried himself to sleep for a week as a result! ROFL I can’t be the only mom to have these completely irrational thoughts am I?”
No Katie-Anne you are not the only mom who has had those thoughts. In fact just yesterday I wanted to go pommel the little boy who lives next door to us. He has a long history of bullying my seven-year-old son while at school. Then after school he’s my son’s friend and always wants to play. Go figure.
I thought the bullying had ended but yesterday my son told me that he is still bullying him on a daily basis at school. He hadn’t said anything because he was trying to deal with the bullying by fighting back like we had advised. As a parent my first thought was I wanted to go hit the kid and give him a piece of his own medicine. Of course the logical part of me knew this wasn’t the answer. (Although it was tempting.)
I have tried to teach my son to be nice to others. I don’t believe that violence is the answer to problems, but sometimes it is the only recourse. We have talked to the bully’s parents, the principal, and their teacher. Yet the bullying continues.
So last night by husband and I talked to our son and told him that he needed to confront the bully. We worked up a plan. In the morning he would walk up to the bully and punch him in the face. Then tell him that he was tired of being bullied and as long as the bully continued to beat on him he would continue to hit the bully. The child was of course shocked that my son had hit him. He just stood their stunned.
I of course couldn’t hit the bullying child but my son could. Hopefully when the bully realizes that he is going to be bullied in turn, the bullying of my son will stop.
There really is no easy answer to the bullying issue. You can appeal to the principal and teachers, but they can’t always protect your child; and as my husband pointed out my son needs to learn how to take care of himself or he will be bullied for the rest of his school years. So we armed our son with a plan to protect himself. My husband even helped him practice punching. We also told him we would reward him with a milkshake if he punched the bully.
I know some of you may frown on the idea of rewarding your child for hitting someone. But my son is not a bully. He didn’t want to hit the kid. Yet as parents we didn’t know what else to do to get the bullying to stop. Sometimes you just have to teach your kids to stand up for themselves.
See these related blogs:
Helping Your Child Stand Up To Bullies
Are Parents To Blame For School Bullying?
How Parents Should Deal With School Bullying