Learning to maneuver the complications of social interactions is one of the inevitable challenges of childhood. Our child has to learn how to make and keep friends, and all sorts of wonderful and painful lessons in how to interact with other people. One of the issues that can come up for a young child is when two (or more) friends are vying for attention and want to be the exclusive or “best” friend. This can be an incredibly stressful and challenging social situation for a child and mom or dad may need to step in and help.
In a triangle, our child may really play either role—the role of the child with whom the other two want an exclusive friendship, or one of the children who want to be someone else’s number one and only best friend. We may need to sit down and help our child understand some pretty strong and confusing emotions that might be churning—jealousy, envy, insecurity, intense like or dislike, etc. For children who are used to just playing and interacting with peers in a non-charged way, the development of this sort of a social triangle can be perplexing and stressful.
As a parent, spend some time brainstorming possible solutions and talking over motivation with your child. This is a time when empathy is imperative. Children need to know that they can trust you not to judge or tell them what they should do, but instead will be supportive and encouraging in helping them work through strong emotions. Providing some alternative activities and events to give your child a break from the “triangle” can help too. Having some down time and an excuse not to be in the midst of the drama can provide a buffer and allow for more brainstorming and the gaining of perspective. It may be necessary for you to chat with the other parents involved if it seems like things are getting stuck and too intense. Friendship triangles are incredibly common and part of the evolutionary “growing up” process that most children face in their social development. Just remember to keep your own emotions and perspective in check, and be on standby to help as needed.
See Also: Wisdom is Learned Through Experience
Helping Children Learn About Making Friends