For the first couple years after my divorce–the holidays were definitely hard for me! I realize that there was really nothing unique or original about my situation, but that did not make it any less painful or difficult to adjust to. I agreed that I would have my kids on Christmas Eve and then they would spend Christmas Day with their father. That first long, lonely Christmas day was horrible! But, over the years, I have adjusted and have found new ways to celebrate the holidays, and keep my mood up all the while…
Sharing our kids can be tough enough, and sharing them during the holidays can be downright miserable! We want our children to have a wonderful, magical and memorable holiday–but that often means that divorced and separated families must split up time with the kids. For me, it took time and flexibility for me to get used to celebrating Christmas day differently without my children.
There was a holiday in there were I was seeing someone and that person was thrilled to have me all alone on Christmas day–not understanding how “un-fun” it was for me to be without my kids. As hard as I tried to embrace new “customs” like going to a movie and sleeping in–it just seemed to make my children’s absence even more poignant. Fortunately, several years have passed and I have learned that it is important for me to NOT have expectations of myself. Feeling like I have to meet someone else’s expectations just makes it worse for me. I learned to be gentle with myself and to allow myself the time and space to find a new way of doing things.
Also: Single Parent Holiday Memories
Single Parents and That Long Winter Break