A few days ago, my eldest daughter and I were looking at photo albums and chatting over old memories of her “growing up years.” Now, granted, at nearly seventeen, she thinks she’s pretty much finished with the growing up, but I’m not entirely convinced! One of the fun questions she asked me was, “How do parents know how to do those parent tricks—tooth fairies and holidays and such? How did you know that was going to be part of your job as a parent and how did you figure out what to do?”
What a fun question! I don’t remember ever wondering about such things when I was on the verge of becoming a parent. In fact, I was looking forward to getting to do things MY WAY and set up my own customs and traditions as they reflected my values and interests. But, I could tell she was pondering and wondering whether she’d know what to do when it came to the “folklore” side of being a mom.
I told her that some of our family traditions had come from my own childhood, and some I’d lifted from other families, stories and my own idealized thoughts about what it should be like. Our own version of the tooth fairy, for example, was far more flexible than the tooth fairy who took teeth and left a quarter from my childhood. My children were able to write little notes to leave for the tooth fairy and ask for little gifts instead of money.
Additionally, our Easter Bunny was/is a female. I don’t really remember how that evolved but I think it actually came from my middle daughter who made the assumption and declaration when she was quite young that the Easter Bunny HAD to be a girl! In her mind, there was no way the universe could stay balanced if Santa Clause wasn’t a male and the Easter Bunny female. So, that is how things go in our world.
But, my daughter really wanted to know how do you organize things like stockings, and baskets and pillows and the fantastical elements of childhood as a parent? How do you know when to introduce them and when to let them go? As you may imagine, it was a rather pleasant and nostalgic conversation and I couldn’t help but think of this site and wonder if others here had their own stories for how they had inherited, borrowed and invented the various tricks and secrets of the folklore side of parenting?