There is a common saying that goes: where your attention goes, your energy flows. This saying refers to the idea that what you are thinking about, focused on or feel is what you attract. If you focus on the negative, then that’s what you create in the fabric of your life.
For couples, this can mean if all you focus on are the tasks that your spouse doesn’t do or does poorly, then that’s the stage you’ve set for your personal dramas. Your negativity will reflect your viewpoint and you will experience a troubled marriage.
It’s not uncommon for the negativity to be so strong, that even when your spouse does something right – you react poorly to it. You shrug it off with a casual, well – if he or she can do that – why can’t they ever …
This is a vicious cycle. But the problem with this is that too often our negativity focuses on what we are not getting:
- You do not spend enough time with me.
- You do not do the things I ask.
- You do not listen to me.
- You do not …
The trend is that we are not happy because we are not getting what we want. Sadly, when our focus is negative – we expect to not get it. We expect to be unhappy. We expect to be disappointed. Is that really anyway to exist in a relationship? To expect to be unhappy? What does that say about you that your attention is only on what isn’t happening? What went wrong?
Where does your attention go?
To be continued.