Stress, pressure, tension—there are plenty of single parents who think these words have either become their middle names, or are at the very least a pretty regular reality in daily life. There is no denying that pressure and stress can be rampant in the lives of single parents, but where is the pressure coming from? Is it something that is coming onto us from the outside world, or are we doing it to ourselves?
I don’t know about you but there are days when I have to remind myself to breathe the pressure can get so intense. I hit the ground running with that first step out of bed and feel as though I am running behind from the first step. Sometimes this is due to factors in my life outside of my control. Other times, I know that I am doing it to myself. I am giving in to those outside voices and expectations that I think are telling me to get it together, work harder, make more money, be a better parent, spend more time on everyone and everything, etc. Pressure.
Other times, I think that when it comes to child-related things, we single parents can really succumb to the pressure—we want to do right by our children and want them to have enough and do the things that they should be doing so we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to try to make that happen. If someone was to ask me what sort of things I find most stressful as a single parent, I would confess that it is always something associated with my children. I take parenting so seriously and want them to have and do everything they want to and I put pressure on myself to try to do whatever it takes.
Figuring out where the pressure is coming from is the first step in being able to create some breathing room. We need to learn how to let go of those unreasonable expectations and have some self-compassion. Less pressure means we can be happier, healthier, and, believe it or not, more available for our kids.
Also: A Little Distance Can Be Normal
Single Parenting Can be Pleasant